Seven Ways to Prioritize Your Children When Going Through Divorce

Seven Ways to Prioritize Your Children When Going Through Divorce

Seven Ways to Prioritize Your Children When Going Through Divorce

Divorce isn't something that you plan for when you get married.  Sometimes, you may even fight for your marriage for years before you settle on the decision to divorce.  However, divorce occurs, and if there are children involved, it can get messy.  While our family law practice in Orlando come in handy to ease the divorce process, all parties get affected.  Divorce can affect children in many ways, such as causing them pain, emotional distress, lasting mental health effects, and other issues.  It may also cause adjustment issues, behavioral problems, or issues with focusing.  When you are going through the divorce process, there are a few ways that you can prioritize your children and their needs.

Minimize Change to Their Routine

Many things will change in your children's life when you and your spouse choose to divorce.  It is up to you and your partner to do the work to reduce the number of adjustments and changes for the children all at once.  Try to arrange for the children to stay as long as possible in their house and arrange for them to attend the same schools and have their lives as uninterrupted as possible. It is essential to make the right moves to show your children that you prioritize their needs over your own during the time.  Even though this is an emotional and taxing process for you and your spouse, you need to work hard to ensure that the children are as minimally affected as possible.

Avoid Sending Messages through Your Children

Many divorcing spouses dislike engaging with each other, and they, therefore, send messages using children to the other spouse.  However, if you want to prove that you care about your children's feelings, never use them as communication tools.  Keep the children out of the communication process with your spouse to show them that they are not a part of the reason you've divorced.  When you use your children to communicate, you actually make them feel like they are in the center of the conflict and drama, and this can have lasting negative effects on their well-being.  They may grow up to blame themselves for your divorce, or they may never learn how to resolve conflict in a healthy manner.  When you struggle to communicate healthily to your partner, talk with your family law practice in Orlando to learn some of the proper ways to address this issue without involving your children.

Show Up for Them

Even if your partner is involved in a recital, play, or basketball game, be sure to attend when it is about your children.  This will show your kids that they are your number one priority regardless of the status of your relationship.  It may seem like a difficult task to face your spouse during these events, but you need to put your own emotions aside.  Family lawyers can set the agreements during the divorce.  Put aside any dissatisfaction or hostile feelings you have towards your spouse and know your presence is far more important.  You never want your kids to equate your divorce with parents missing important events.  When this happens, they will take notice and may start to develop issues with one of you, which can cause relationships to end and become bitter over time.

Approach Dating with Caution

You can finally decide to date after your split, and that's great.  However, you should be very mindful about your date and your children's exposure to those dates. Y our kids don't have to meet every person that you choose to date.  Parading them around at home can create confusion, especially for young kids who have difficulty understanding new updates and changes to their lifestyle. Consider waiting for a few months before introducing your new partner to your children, especially if they had a particularly difficult time with the divorce in the first place.  Talk to your children about who you are dating before you bring them around so that they can ask all the questions they have and understand the role of this new person in their life.  Don't spring any new people on them without talking to them first.  

Put Your Differences Aside

In terms of custody agreements, co-parenting is the gold standard whose guidelines are set in family law practice in Orlando.  It is ideal if you can spend time with your children individually as well as together.  It reinforces their sense of oneness by making them feel more connected.  Let your children know that even though your marriage may be over, your parenting responsibilities will never end.  You are both in their lives, and you plan to put your differences aside to be the best parents you can be.

Eliminate Too Many Complex Choices

Avoid putting pressure on your children to make decisions is one way to keep them out of the middle of a divorce fight.  To put it another way, children, especially young children, should never be forced to choose which parent they want to live with, or even simple things like whose vehicle to ride in or where to spend the holidays.  Instead of asking the children to choose, the couple can use a family law practice in Orlando to arrange the right parental decisions.  The children can be left to speak up, but refrain from asking them specific questions or giving them particular options.

Keep Emotions Out of It

When you are going through a bitter divorce, it is critical to avoid talking badly about your spouse in front of your children.  This can negatively affect their relationship with your spouse, which can cause larger issues in the future.  Avoid exposing them to the negativities that accompany a nasty divorce process by only talking to them about objective information.  Be sure to approach these topics with sensitivity so that your children will be shielded from the drama.

These are just a few of the ways that you can prioritize your children when you are going through the divorce process.  Working with a family law practice in Orlando that has experience with custody agreements, family law issues, and other issues with children is a great idea to also take care of the children.  Contact us to hear how we can help you manage your divorce with children today.

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